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Introvert Care  Hello This Is an Online Tutorial of How to Care For your pet Introvert, Let’s Begin. One of the main differences between introverts and extroverts is that extroverts get their energy from hanging out with other people, Whereas Introverts…  Aren’t mentally ill. Now, if you’re looking for getting an introvert, you can either adopt a baby one, known as a shylet, or rescue an adult from an introvert shelter generally referred to as a library.  You can find them in the wild at a calculus Or Algebra class with only 5 people, anymore and they’re not there. Upon arrival, show your new introvert the location of the litter tray, the feeding bowl and any windows it can jump out of in case the doorbell rings. A pair of Introverts is called and Awkward, A group of introverts are called an angst. They Are Rarely Ever found together in the wild except by accident. In which case, they will apologize for making eye contact, nod politely, then run screaming in opposite directions. Contrary to popular belief, introverts don’t dislike human company, they just utterly despise it. Interaction with introverts can be problematic, A typical conversation might run:  Extrovert: Hi Introvert :Helloooo Extrovert: How’s it going? Introvert: YES Introvert: *what am I doing to myself* Extrovert: What? Introvert: Ha-ha, how about that much anticipated sports match last night eh? Extrovert: What? There was no sports match last night. Introvert: *why am I even trying* Introvert: Stuff over here to do a bit now, better runaroo. Extrovert: What? Introvert: Mmmnnnnnnneeeeeaaaaaaaa Extrovert: What? Introvert: got to go do work some now. Introvertion itself probably results from a genetic mutation. In fact, introvert DNA is oriented in parallel lines. As the two strands get embarrassed and twist around each other, this leads to an enlarged sorrybellum and a malformed anxietal lobe. However, introverts make for excellent fighting companions. They will level up from occasional reader to social hermit, then with enough experience they’ll evolve into their final form: professional EVE Online player. The introvert class comes with low maintenance costs but extremely high embarrassment risk. Against extroverts, they can use “retreat to toilet” move to recover health, Deploy the “agreeable conversation”defence block, but are totally useless against the “direct eye contact” attack. If you want to reward your introvert, why not treat it to: A colorful toy, A tummy rub, Not forcing it to talk publicly about its emotions, ever and Not forcing it to talk publicly about its emotions, freaking ever. Mistreating your introvert may prompt a visit from the antisocial services. So, try to avoid belittling your introvert in front of its friends, manhandling the first editions of books, saying bad things about Kurt Vonnegut Or Insisting on Calling rather than texting. Failure to observe the instructions may result in your introvert exhibiting extremely backhanded compliments, A lack of polite sign-offs at the end of emails or serving your tea only lukewarm, and it tasting suspiciously like piss. Like most humans, introverts do have romantic tendencies. Generally, the mating call goes like this: Introvert: Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt, but is someone sitting here? Introvert: No? Ah… Hmmm…… Actually… I… I think I left the gas on. Heuuuuuuuuuuuuu Introvert: Goodbye forever. Directness can also be an issue. How’s it going = I find you very attractive Hope to see you again = I’m falling quite madly in love I think about you occasionally = I would literally remove my ears with a rusty spoon just to see you with your socks off Dating an introvert can be quite the experience. A romantic evening consists of two of you having a glass of wine and reading a book together, separated by only being in different countries and communicating in no way whatsoever. If you get tired of your introvert, no need to palm it off on a friend: simply disconnect your router or suggest that it might’ve offended someone slightly and it will quietly run away in the night. Owners do occasionally come to resemble their pets. You, yourself might be an introvert without realizing if you: Find yourself mentally exhausted after hanging out with people (even those you like), Enjoy dining or going to the movies alone, You’re going to leave your apartment and you notice your neighbor is out in the hallway… Then suddenly grow convinced that you need to go back inside to do some “important stuff”, Consider small talk the verbal equivalent of integral calculus or utilise a ten grade system in your head on how the conversation is going so far…  Freaking Catastrophic Fairly Catastrophic Locate dark room and cry Mildly distressing Vaguely tolerable Doesn’t provoke heart palppitations Eh Hey, this is almost enjoyable Well, bearable at least My god, maybe I’m a real person? …With the postman.  In any case though, if you’re looking for a pet that isn’t constantly defacing the furniture or trying to murder you in your sleep. Why not get an introvert You Know The Motto, “Not as good as dogs,but much less likely to pee everywhere”. BYE.    

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